Online dating profile writing, some would argue, doesn’t matter because most people simply make their selections based on a person’s pictures and don’t even bother to read the profiles. That may be true for very casual daters but those that are serious about finding a relationship via online dating definitely read the profiles that catch their eye.
The problem with most profiles is they aren’t very well written. Think about it…most online dating profiles are hastily written, late at night, frequently after consuming a half bottle of wine or a six pack of beer after another disappointing Friday or Saturday night.
There should be 3 parts to your profile – 1 about YOU, 1 about your DATING GOALS and 1 about your PERFECT MATCH (who you’re hoping to meet).
Remember the purpose of your online dating profile is to encourage other singles to reach out to you or to be more receptive when you reach out to them. If you don’t include enough information, you will appear lazy or only half-heartedly interested in pursuing a relationship; write too much and you will bore people. This should not be an autobiography. It should be a sales pitch about your unique awesomeness!
Be unique. Being unique and witty can help you stand out. Remember, there are millions of singles online dating, so it’s competitive. Humor never hurts.
Be confident. Confidence is sexy – not to be confused with cocky, which is not. It is also OK to admit to humanizing flaws rather than being too good to be true, which can be intimidating.
Be honest. One of the cornerstones of a strong relationship is honesty. You don’t want to have to start out a new relationship trying to explain why you lied. Most online dating profiles are a bit aspirational. Most of that can be overlooked, but saying you’re divorced while you’re still married can’t be.
Be positive. Don’t have a huge list of things you don’t like. It’s OK to have a few deal breakers – “must like kids” for example if you have kids, or “sorry, no cats, because I’m allergic to them,” but too many and you will appear to be negative and too picky.
Also, don’t mention your ex in your profile. There’s just no need to.
Be specific. We’ve all read profiles that state, “I love to eat out, go to concerts, and I love to laugh.” That’s awesome, but this would describe 90% of us. Tell us what foods you like to eat, who you like to listen to in concert and what makes you laugh. This will help you COME TO LIFE ON SCREEN and give your potential dates more ways to find things in common with you. It will also make it easier for them to message you and strike up conversations. Strong relationships are about compatibility. If they find things you both enjoy, this will encourage them to feel a connection with you. Describe the lifestyle you like to lead:
- Interests, activities and hobbies you enjoy
- Exercise – what and how often
- Favorite foods, movies, music, literature, restaurants, bars
- Places you’ve traveled or are planning on visiting
- New things you’d like to try. This is a great invitation for someone to show you the ropes
Be aware of your Audience. If you are a straight woman, don’t write about things that would appeal to your girlfriends. Not many men are into shoe shopping and scrapbooking. It’s OK if you like them, but try to pick other activities to highlight in your profile. Read this The Atlantic article for more tips.
Be smart. Use spell check. Spelling and grammatical errors makes you look lazy and not very intelligent. Neither are compelling attributes in a companion.
Write longer, more in-depth profiles to stand out. Most men are notoriously guilty of writing very brief online dating profiles. Women like to read! Romance novels are big business. According to the Romance Writers of America, the romance fiction industry is worth a billion dollars a year, which makes it about a third larger than the inspirational book industry and the core audience is over 29 million women. Men, if you follow these simple tips, you will elevate yourself above 90% of your competition!